Do you ever wonder who you are? I think you are a combination of:
Who you think you are
Who other people think you are
Who you think other people think you are
Who other people think you think you are
These can be different things. Let’s say, I think I have a good sense of humor. Just because I think it is true, does not mean it is automatically true.
Other people might think my sense of humor is silly and childish. Are they right though?
If I think they believe that I have a good sense of humor, I will behave differently around them than if I am afraid that they dislike my sense of humor.
Other people might treat me differently too depending on what they think my motive is for my behavior. If they think I am telling a joke because I am showing off and trying to look witty, that wouldn’t reflect on me as well as if they thought I was telling a joke in order to put others at ease and show that I am friendly and approachable.
I used the example of humor, but this could apply to different topics as well.
For example, you might think that you are a talented singer. If nobody else thinks you are a good singer, than you will not be seen as a good singer. If you think other people believe you are a good singer, you will probably sing Karaoke with confidence and volunteer for special music at church. If you think other people don’t appreciate your voice, you are less likely to sing in public and are even less likely to ever be labeled as being a good singer. If other people think that you believe you are a good singer, they might agree blindly if they originally thought you actually were a good singer, whereas if they didn’t believe you were a good singer in the first place, they will just assume that you are so tone-deaf that you are not even aware that you are a bad singer. If you avoid singing, people might think this is the right thing to do if you are indeed not talented, on the other hand, if other people think you are a good singer, they might believe that you are not singing in public because you are modest, shy, or that you don’t feel that it is proper to show off your skills.
If I play my trumpet in the forest, and there is nobody there to hear it, am I just full of hot air?
